Pin It

Thursday, June 27, 2013


Its going to rain.  A lot.  The weathermen have been talking about it for days.  Now my husband and his coworkers may even be staging in other parts of the state just in case flooding becomes severe in certain areas and help/rescue is needed.  Me, I am at home with Emily on my "weekend" off before a long stretch of four 12 hour shifts in a row.  Yuck.  

Even more yuck is the weather forecast for the next week...

But, I am making the most of the dry weather and time with Emily while I have it.  Then it can rain all it wants while I am working! 

Emily seems to have this attraction to water.  Whether its a puddle or a river or the bathtub she loves to exclaim - water! and points frantically at whatever body of water she happens to see.  She gets excited the closer we get to water, that is until I get ready to put her down.  For as much as she loves to talk about and see water she doesn't want to be near it at all unless she's safe in someone's arms.  That is a challenge, because both Shawn and I love to do things on the water. 

This is her first summer where she can walk and run and go places on her own willpower so undoubtedly seeing water up close is scary.  But, I want her to feel safe and happy to be at the water's edge.  I've tried a lot of different tactics to get her to enjoy the water and finally, finally, have been successful.  Bringing her close and then setting her down failed.  Holding her and having the both of us get near the water together scared her.  She  even hated knowing I was approaching the water while holding her.  

Eventually I decided to just put her down a safe distance away and then walk to the water myself.  Smiling and acting as if I was having fun I'd periodically glance back at her.  Before I knew it she had slowly creeped up to my side.  Soon she was smiling and  throwing rocks into the river.  She just had to come to terms with water on her own. 

Monday, June 3, 2013

The Daycare Dilemma

One of the biggest racquets in the parenting world is daycare.  Something that non-childrearing people don't have to comprehend, understand, or experience is the massive grip on one's life childcare can have.  It makes the difference what career you have, where you work, whether both parents work, how comfortable your lifestyle is, and even how often you see your child.  Its associate with stressors, guilt, anxiety, and worry that even the most prepared can be reeled by.   Here is why....  

The hours daycares are open.

Oddly, daycare centers and licensed home daycares are open typical business hours.  Very few open early in the morning, meaning before 7am, and even fewer stay open late, after 5pm.  This means that as a parent if you must work or need daycare you have to find a job that fits within those hours.  Not only that your commute to and from your job has to fit within those hours.  So, your shift starts at 7am?  Well, hopefully you can find a daycare that opens at 6:30 so you can budget time to drop off your child, say goodbye, and then commute to your job.   Do you need to stay late after work?  Lets hope your provider doesn't charge you extra for being tardy, or worse, drop your child from their services.  If you work a job on weekends hopefully you have a spouse or friend or family member that will pitch in and help watch your child.  No daycare is available on weekends.  Basically, hope you find yourself working a 9-5.  For Shawn and I that is an exceedingly hard challenge.  We have amazing friends and family who help make my twelve hour shifts all days of the week and Shawn's day and night shift rotation work. 

The expense of daycare

Daycare is expensive. My daycare is under $200 a week for a baby under two years of age and that is cheap, for this area.   Most daycare centers run well over $250 for a baby and home childcare is around $150-200.  That's per week, not month.  That's right.  Daycare costs as much as a decent mortgage payment every single month.  The cost doesn't go away.  Its so expensive that many families are faced with the decision to have one parent stay home simply because it is cheaper to raise the child at home rather than work to simply afford daycare.  Shawn and I have considered that ourselves, but I love my job and need to stay current in my practice to maintain good clinical skills.  Also, we would have to cut back on things significantly and decrease our ability to pay off debts/save if we only had one income.  No thank you.  I like being almost finished paying for my student loans. 

The paying whether you're child is at daycare or not

That's right... even if you don't take your child to daycare on a given day during the week you still have to pay for that day whether your child was actually there or not.  That's the reality of having a "full time" spot at a daycare.  Oh, you don't want to be full time?  Well, if you're a part time child and another child needing full time care comes along your provider may drop you for the full time child.  Its more money for them if they do.  For me this dilemma is the biggest source of guilt.  Emily doesn't need to be in daycare Monday through Friday.  Shawn and I are home one or two days a week at least, but because both of our schedules are erratic, never working the same pattern of days plus other part time jobs, Emily has to have a full time spot.  So, on those great days where I am home, free from work, I am struck with the pang of guilt that we are paying for her to be cared for that day, but yet she is not at daycare.  Do I send her to daycare, get my money's worth, and spend the day feeling guilty at home alone and kid free?  Or do I keep her home, spend time with her, and spend money on a service I am not utilizing? I always keep her at home, but the fact that this conundrum exists and I am wasting my money some days bothers me to no end.  

Why must parents face these issues simply to raise a child?  It is entirely too complicated and there are entirely too few options for parents, especially those in certain fields like health and public service.  Families are now forced to choose between careers and children more than ever and its at an incredibly disadvantageous time when two incomes are most certainly needed to raise a family.  Raising a child should be a heck of a lot more simple...