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Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Choice

This post has been a long time coming.  Its been almost a month since I left my former job at the nursing home and have embedded myself in acute care nursing. A lot has happened.  I've cared for a wide range of patients and given drugs or done interventions I had never done in my previous years as a nurse. There's been a wide range of patients to care for from the very complex to the ones who sometimes you wonder why they are in a hospital.  At the end of each shift, while I am tired, I have felt like I have made a much more significant difference than I did before.  Heck, I am actually being a nurse. 

Now I am not in any way saying those who work at a nursing home aren't nurses, or good nurses for that matter.  I was a nursing home nurse for the beginning of my career.  However, in my position that I was  in, as a manager, I did very little nursing.  My job morphed into sitting at a desk, doing the schedule, doing paperwork, sitting in meetings, listening to staff complain about one another.  It was absolutely not what I became a nurse to do.  

What I did learn was how much I hate managing people.  God, I hate dealing with drama people can't sort out.  I just want to care for sick people, to make their bad day a better day, and to use some critical thinking skills while I do it. Can you do some of that at the nursing home? ...sure, but not to the degree I am now.  

Initially I thought I would be staying at the nursing home, doing some shifts here and there.  Honestly, I have grown quite attached to many of the residents and staff there.  It was like a large family that I saw probably more than my actual family.  So much of my time, life, and energy was invested in what I did. 

But I won't be going back to the nursing home.  

Why?  Why disconnect from something I was so connected to?  Well, it wasn't entirely my decision, but it ends up being the right one.  The best part is I didn't have to make the decision myself or awkwardly sever any ties.  A lot was revealed to me after I left the nursing home. As I am one to not dwell or discuss something where paranoid parties may over analyze my words all I will say is that I was accused of being negative.  Imagine that...  All the time, energy, and emotion I invested there since I became a nurse just to be told I was negative.  Once I was told that I knew immediately I had made the right decision to enhance my career elsewhere.

With a simple salute I walked out of the door of the nursing home for the last time.  Happily. 

Where I am now is great.  My bosses are happy.  My coworkers are happy.  My emails are dotted with the occasional smiley face.  I am utilizing nursing skills and critically thinking in ways I feared I had once forgotten over the last two years, but its all there, buried deep down somewhere, and coming to the surface.   Not to mention my schedule is consistent.  This job is literally the polar opposite of my former one and I love it. 

While I learned a lot at the nursing home... that I dislike managing people, I love taking care of people, and I have a knack for time management and organizational skills... it just wasn't where I belonged.

I made the right choice.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Viral

Boy has the last few days been a trial. A horrendous GI bug has been going around the neighborhood and unfortunately Emily fell victim to it and remained in its clutches for the entirety of the weekend. Out if all the GI illnesses I have seen this one seriously brought Emily to the edge of what her medically trained mom and dad could do at home.

What began as a midnight vomiting session early Friday quickly became a "puke and poop" escapade. Poor Emily could not keep a thing down. Not water or toast or even pedialyte settled in her stomach. It all came hurdling back up and onto whatever surface she happened to be next to. I did more laundry in two days than I do in a month. I scrubbed more floors, carpet, cushions, and gave more baths than I would ever care to. Poor Emily even wore a dress part of the weekend so I could have easy access for all the diaper changes I was doing. I swear, it was practically a war zone.

Sleep was elusive for both Emily and I. Shawn was at work for almost the entirety of the event, but not before running to the store four separate times for things we ran out of or I forgot to ask him to get. More diapers, pedialyte, and a bag of Doritos for me. ....hey, I was in desperate need of some junk food at that point. Finally, as the weather warmed enough for me to open the windows and let in some fresh air to my germ ridden house, she started to feel better. Her appetite slowly returned. The spunk returned.

Thank god...

I am so glad that weekend is behind us. Also, I am so glad I appear to somehow not have contracted it (knock on wood).