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Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Choice

This post has been a long time coming.  Its been almost a month since I left my former job at the nursing home and have embedded myself in acute care nursing. A lot has happened.  I've cared for a wide range of patients and given drugs or done interventions I had never done in my previous years as a nurse. There's been a wide range of patients to care for from the very complex to the ones who sometimes you wonder why they are in a hospital.  At the end of each shift, while I am tired, I have felt like I have made a much more significant difference than I did before.  Heck, I am actually being a nurse. 

Now I am not in any way saying those who work at a nursing home aren't nurses, or good nurses for that matter.  I was a nursing home nurse for the beginning of my career.  However, in my position that I was  in, as a manager, I did very little nursing.  My job morphed into sitting at a desk, doing the schedule, doing paperwork, sitting in meetings, listening to staff complain about one another.  It was absolutely not what I became a nurse to do.  

What I did learn was how much I hate managing people.  God, I hate dealing with drama people can't sort out.  I just want to care for sick people, to make their bad day a better day, and to use some critical thinking skills while I do it. Can you do some of that at the nursing home? ...sure, but not to the degree I am now.  

Initially I thought I would be staying at the nursing home, doing some shifts here and there.  Honestly, I have grown quite attached to many of the residents and staff there.  It was like a large family that I saw probably more than my actual family.  So much of my time, life, and energy was invested in what I did. 

But I won't be going back to the nursing home.  

Why?  Why disconnect from something I was so connected to?  Well, it wasn't entirely my decision, but it ends up being the right one.  The best part is I didn't have to make the decision myself or awkwardly sever any ties.  A lot was revealed to me after I left the nursing home. As I am one to not dwell or discuss something where paranoid parties may over analyze my words all I will say is that I was accused of being negative.  Imagine that...  All the time, energy, and emotion I invested there since I became a nurse just to be told I was negative.  Once I was told that I knew immediately I had made the right decision to enhance my career elsewhere.

With a simple salute I walked out of the door of the nursing home for the last time.  Happily. 

Where I am now is great.  My bosses are happy.  My coworkers are happy.  My emails are dotted with the occasional smiley face.  I am utilizing nursing skills and critically thinking in ways I feared I had once forgotten over the last two years, but its all there, buried deep down somewhere, and coming to the surface.   Not to mention my schedule is consistent.  This job is literally the polar opposite of my former one and I love it. 

While I learned a lot at the nursing home... that I dislike managing people, I love taking care of people, and I have a knack for time management and organizational skills... it just wasn't where I belonged.

I made the right choice.

6 comments:

kristine barr said...

Good story. I wondered why the change. Sounds exactly like my career. Being that I am quite a bit older than you I have gone on to specialize in gastroenterology. I started in the endoscopy clinic at the hospital when they were desperately short handed and fell in love with the things that we do. So I have been doing this for 30+ years. Hope your change will be as good as mine.

Hydrant girl said...

Good for you!

NickyG said...

yep,
I second that!

Rachel said...

You're spending almost all your time in the office, and if you're not enjoying what you're doing added by your colleagues who don't appreciate you much.. then it's not a healthy place to stay in.

Home Care in Atlanta, GA said...

Truly great read for me. I really liked your post. I hope you are always share me this type of post........

Kim said...

I was recently fired during my maternity leave...
I've been working steadily since I was 14 years old and had never been let go from a job.
It was a wake up call that I really didn't belong there anyway (in spite of my 5+ years of dedicated employment).
I am better off, temporarily staying home with my baby girl.
The new plan? Nursing school at age 38.
yikes!!
Best to you.

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