Somehow life seems to have dug itself into a rut really quick. For just the past couple of weeks I have been back at work and then coming home to little miss Emily and tending to her. Over and over everyday the same routine repeats itself. I am definitely not used to this 9 to 5 lifestyle and it's taking it's toll.
I have so few hours with Emily everyday where she is awake. Not only does that sadden me it makes me want to do nothing else except hold her and be with her. To a fault I choose to do nothing else except spend time with her and leave so much undone. Then as soon as she is asleep and quiet in her crib I begin the whirlwind task of prepping bottles for the night and everything for the next morning. It's a heck of a lot of work.
That's what I feel. I come home from work to do more work and then sleep and go back to work.
Such a routine, which is inescapable, hasn't afforded me much time for anything. Like this blog or to do anything fun that I could blog about. For once in my life I feel dull and have little ability or desire to do anything about it. Its led me to seriously question whether to continue this blog at times. My logic is that if I am too busy to do anything besides work and sleep and care for the baby then what good does having the stress of a blog do? On the other hand I've blogged for years and have "met" some incredible people through blogging and found solace in difficult situations or changes. That's irreplaceable.
I guess this rut I am in has caused an issue with time and energy. What little I do have of either is definitely not dedicated to blogging as frequently as I have been. I going to have to evaluate and overhaul my blog. It should be something I enjoy rather than feel obligated to do as if it's work.
I sure as hell don't need more work in my life.
No thank you.
If having a baby has taught me anything it's that I have to adjust my expectations. Suddenly there isn't enough energy left at the end of the day or enough time to do everything I'd like. What a hard reality to learn....that I have limits.
So what is the punch line of this post? I'm not even sure there is one. Am I getting rid of the blog? Nah. Not right now anyway... but I might have to make some changes with it and right now I don't even know what that means. I don't even have the energy to decide right now.