First of all... I am not a nurse. Well, I do have a Vermont nurses license, but I am no longer working as a nurse. Don't be so shocked. It really is a good thing and has been a long time coming. After months of horrible hours, and numerous other reasons I'll choose not to list on the internet for all to read at this juncture, I quit my job. Thanks to my husband I worked there about a month longer than I had any desire to. To be honest, I downright hated the job...
Nights spent alone and awake made me feel physically horrible. Sleeping during the day made me cranky and caused rifts between my husband and I. Shifts on end without seeing patients made me feel as if my skills had begun to atrophy. I sorely missed the world of EMS I had left behind and I sorely missed enjoying my job
Now, all that is changing. Finally.
I am going back to the ambulance.
I have missed it and feel its where I belong. After months and months of nursing school where we listen to nurses complain about their jobs, their shifts, their coworkers, their bosses (there's a heck of a lot of complaining in nursing), and having my own less than enjoyable nursing experience right out of the gate, I long for the days spent in the ambulance, meeting strangers, and making their days better (or just less worse). But there's something even scarier...
I am beginning to wonder if I will even like being a nurse.
No, I am seriously wondering if I will enjoy being a nurse at all.
Trust me, Shawn was not happy when I disclosed that with him. He sees the dollar signs spent on me the last two years just to figure out 'I don't like doing it'. I have the fear of what if I am just meant to be an EMT and practice prehospital medicine. Is that so bad? If it wasn't so underpaid and under appreciated maybe I wouldn't feel the need to stretch my professional legs for a better paying career.
In the mean time I will continue my pursuits of my RN that will culminate in just a few short months, but I will be back in the big white box, bouncing down the road, doing the job I love. So, that's good news for those of you who enjoy my emergency stories, because it looks like there will be a lot more in my future!