Yesterday I spent almost eight hours driving the countryside of Vermont in search of photographic scenes, the entire afternoon driving down winding roads I've never traveled singing to the radio with the window down. It was heaven. The shear amount of hours I put into my photography is akin to a full time job. Sometimes its exhausting. When I came home late last night, long after the twilight had faded, I was barely awake, but it was a good feeling, like a good day at work. Only it isn't work. Its a hobby, no matter how much I wish and want it to be more.
This is an example of my fear and how I feel about my photography.
Rather than storm chaser it should say "Photographer".
I struggle with classifying myself as a photographer. When people asked if I am amateur or professional I don't know what to say. What is the distinction? When do you cross that imaginary canyon from hobbyist to career? Clearly I can't make a living off of snapping my shutter (yet), but that doesn't mean I don't want to. I am more than afraid that I will spend my life saying "maybe next year..." and then there will be no more years left. How do I know that this year is not the year? How do I know it is? I don't.
I think my next fear will be saying "This year is the year..." and being wrong. But I'd rather be wrong now than right about saying maybe next year. Its humbling to be afraid.
We all have fears that are dreams unrealized. What are you "afraid" to be?
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